Spammers are industrious creatures. They know how to capitalize on an opportunity, and they move quickly. Since President Barack Obama took office a little more than a month ago, I’ve begun to receive emails allegedly from Obama himself, promising me a share of a variety of stimulus packages and government handouts. I doubt very much that President Obama has turned to spam for his information distribution, but you never know.

Recently, the President’s office implemented the Homeowner Affordability and Stability Plan, which is designed to allow 7 to 9 million families to refinance or modify their home loans, thus avoiding foreclosure. Reuters reports that one in eight American households are late on payments or in foreclosure, so this aid could not come at a better time. Right on cue, though, the bailout-themed spam returned to my inbox, and I received several versions of the same email, below (sent from “President Obama,” subject line: “I have Signed the Largest Stimulus Package & there is $15 Billion available 4 u Today! see how”):

The text reads as follows:

“Do you watch Television, Read the Newspapers? If so, You would know that our Government Passed a $787 Billion Dollar “Stimulus” Plan. So, what does this mean to you right now? Probably NOTHING! That’s right, unless you are on Social Security whereby Our Government will be mailing a whopping $250 1 time check To those On Social Security, you will have to Dig Deep to see where YOU will benefit From this New Stimulus Plan!

“Now Don’t Trust Us to do your reading, do it yourself, But within the New Stimulus Plan Is an Opportunity to Get Your Hands A Piece of $2 Billion Dollars! All you have to do is know how to get your Piece of this $2 Billion Dollars That According to the Stimulus Plan WILL BE MADE AVAILABLE STARTING TODAY MARCH 4, 2009!

“So this is a First Come First Serve Type of Deal our Very Own Government Has Made!

“Our Question to you is as follows: Would You like to learn how to get a piece of this $15 Billion Dollars in as little as 1 Week? If YES, Use your common sense, you have nothing to lose only to gain by pressing below for FREE!

“Press here if You Want Guaranteed Free Money From The US Government in as little as 12 DAYS!”

Impressive, no? The random capitalization and poor grammar and punctuation really sell this gem.

Once you get into this email, you discover that it’s not actually FROM the government, despite the alleged source of President Obama (I doubt that the president uses “text talk” like “4 u” when he means “for you,” anyway). Also, you notice that the numbers are a little off… One line suggests a $2 Billion handout, another a $15 Billion stimulus. One paragraph says “as little as one week,” but the final line says “as little as 12 days.” Clearly, numbers are not the spammer’s strong suit.

You might also note that, while timed to go out during the week that the Homeowner Affordability and Stability Plan is in the spotlight, the email doesn’t actually address this plan at all. Rather, it refers to the stimulus package that President Obama signed into law a few weeks ago. That package, designed to provide relief to millions of Americans through a variety of tax cuts, aid for states and other initiatives, does not involve handing out cash to those who ask for it. Even those who make the request via a spam email link.

I have received this email (or some version of it) a few times a day whenever a financial plan or bill is in the news. The really shameful thing about it is that many Americans truly are hurting right now, with the economy struggling and layoffs increasing. This spam plays on the fear and despair of the American in trouble. It’s worse than playing on the insecurities of men with ED (”Click here for cheep V1@gra”) or on the greed of those who want inexpensive luxury (”Designer handbags available at knockoff prices!”). For all these reasons, it’s an easy inductee into the Marketing Hall of Shame.

Want to reduce the amount of spam, junk mail and telemarketing calls you receive? Privacy Council’s list removal service is the answer. Sign up for Privacy Council today and see fewer emails from “President Obama” or any other spammers in your inbox. You’ll also be doing the environment a favor by saving a few trees’ worth of junk mail! Click here to get your name removed from the lists.